The 36-Hour Day by Nancy L. Mace & Peter V. Rabins

Author:Nancy L. Mace & Peter V. Rabins
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Johns Hopkins University Press
Published: 2011-08-08T16:00:00+00:00

IN THE EVENT OF YOUR DEATH

When someone close to you has an illness that causes dementia you have a special responsibility to provide for him if you should die. Probably your plans will never have to be put into action, but they must, for the sake of the person who has dementia, be made.

When a family member is unable to take care of himself, it is important that you have a will that provides for his care. Find a lawyer whom you trust, and have him draw up a will and any other necessary legal papers. Every state has a law that determines how property will be divided among your heirs if you do not make a will or if your will is not valid. However, this may not be the way you want your estate to be distributed. In addition to the usual matters of disposing of property to one’s heirs, the following questions must be addressed and appropriate arrangements made. (Also see Chapter 15.)

What arrangements have been made for your funeral, and who will carry these out? You can select a funeral director in advance and specify, in writing, what kind of funeral you will have and how much it will cost. Far from being macabre, this is a considerate and responsible act that ensures that things will be done as you wish and that saves your distraught family from having to make these arrangements in the midst of their grief. Funerals can be expensive, and advance plans make it possible for you to see that your money is spent as you wish.

What immediate arrangements have been made for care of the person who has dementia, and who will be responsible for seeing that they are carried out? Someone must be available immediately who will be kind and caring.

Do the people who will be caring for the person who has dementia know his diagnosis and his doctor, and do they know as much as possible of what you know about how to make him comfortable?

What financial provisions have been made for the person who has dementia, and who will administer them? If he cannot manage his own affairs, someone must be available with the authority to care for him. You will want to select a person whom you trust to do this rather than leave such an important decision to a court or judge. When such decisions are made by a court, they involve long delays and considerable expense.

Sometimes a husband or wife cares for years for a spouse with an illness that causes dementia and does not want to burden sons or daughters with the knowledge of this illness.

Said a daughter, “I had no idea anything was wrong with Mom, because Dad covered for her so well. Then he had a heart attack and we found her like this. Now I have the shock of his death and her illness all at one time. It would have been so much easier if he had told us about it long ago.

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